Feedback is everywhere—or at least, that’s what we like to say. Leaders talk about it as a cornerstone of their culture. Job candidates proudly claim they thrive on it. Managers list it as one of their top strengths.
But here’s the thing: For all the buzz about feedback, I’ve noticed something troubling. The habits people develop around feedback—and the results they expect it to create—often fall short. There’s a gap between the importance we place on feedback and the impact it actually delivers.
I’ve spent over a decade working with executives and People teams, helping them navigate leadership challenges and build stronger workplaces. Along the way, I’ve sat through countless discussions about feedback: how to give it, how to receive it, and how to make it more meaningful. And don’t get me wrong—I believe feedback has its place. But I also believe it’s time for a mindset shift: from feedback in isolation to a culture rooted in coaching.
Why coaching changes everything:
Coaching starts with something simple yet often overlooked: listening. Not just hearing someone out, but actively seeking to understand their perspective. It’s about starting with curiosity instead of rushing to deliver your own insights or solutions.
Here’s an example: Imagine you want to address a team member’s lack of engagement in meetings. The feedback-first approach might sound like, “You need to speak up more in team discussions.” But a coaching approach might start with curiosity: “I’ve noticed you’re quieter in meetings lately. What’s your experience during those discussions?”
The difference is subtle but powerful. Coaching creates space for dialogue, trust, and shared understanding. It opens the door to insights you might not uncover with feedback alone.
Feedback needs a new role.
Don’t get me wrong—feedback is a valuable tool. But too often, it’s treated as a formula: make an observation, suggest a fix, move on. This can feel transactional and one-size-fits-all.
Coaching, on the other hand, makes feedback more personalized and effective. When I coach leaders, I encourage them to anchor feedback in context: Why are you sharing this observation? Why does it matter? Then, as the conversation unfolds, stay curious. Ask questions that invite collaboration and make the other person feel heard:
- “How does this resonate with you?”
- “What’s your take on what happened?”
- “What would you do differently next time?”
Coaching comes first, feedback follows.
Here’s where many leaders get it wrong: They think feedback builds a coaching relationship, but it’s actually the other way around. Coaching is the foundation;a culture of curiosity, trust, and support. When that’s in place, feedback becomes a natural, collaborative part of the dialogue.
Without coaching, feedback can feel like a judgment. With coaching, it becomes an opportunity for growth.
Feedback will always be part of the equation.
The workplace will always need feedback. It’s not going anywhere, nor should it. But as leaders, we can’t stop there. By prioritizing a coaching mindset—one grounded in listening, curiosity, and trust—we can unlock the potential of feedback and create workplace cultures that thrive.
2025 is the perfect time to start. Let’s stop talking about feedback and start transforming how we lead.
